As many of my readers know, I was active on a dating app for just under one year and had limited success and barely a pleasant positive experience. The app provided a social environment and learning experience for me with only one positive outcome. I did go out on dates and remained friends with fifteen of the men I met in person and several men that I did not meet in real life (yet!). I always took the approach of, it was best for me to always disclose my disability and never hide it. In some cases, for example, the men I talk/message with daily or at least weekly, accepted my disability and thought I have and will continue to manage my way through and succeed in life as well as in my career. While on the app, I did see just a small percentage of men noting in their profile that either they had a disability (either on the Spectrum, ADHD, Dyslexia, Bi-polar, or OCD). For myself, within the first few messages or first date, I disclosed I was working on getting my driver’s license and I had a processing/learning disability. Some men were extremely turned off and some hung in there for a second or third date. It is up to the individual to note their disability on their profile section or another section they are comfortable with, or you can take my approach of matching first, then mentioning it.
Profile Bio Message Do’s and Don’ts:
Convey What You Want or Eventually Want to Achieve by Using the App
Tell your short story
o What do you do for a living, still in school, or just graduated
o Do you travel for your job, if yes, how often?
o Do you work the night or weekend shift?
o What town/state do you live in?
o Do you have your own apartment, roommate, or own your own home?
o Do you cook, have hobbies, sports, or are you physically active?
o What is important to you in a relationship or what are you looking for either casual, serious relationship, or on the app for a short time to have fun
o On vacation or business trip and want to meet new people in the area
Fill out all categories
o Smoker or non-smoker and frequency, alcohol and frequency, political affiliation, religious affiliation, desire to get married, children, etc. It is important not to leave anything blank especially your height (yes, this is very important). If you do not mention you smoke in your profile, and you do, once your date gets in your car or gives a nice to finally meet you hug, they will smell cigarette smoke and it will result in an unsuccessful first-time meeting (this has happened to me several times)
Find an area on the app where you can provide additional information i.e.
o Willing to travel for the right person
o Must be family oriented
o It’s okay if they have children or state you want to start your own family
o You have, like, or want your potential match tattooed or not important if they don’t have them
Other Social Media Platforms
Do offer your Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat information as this can help gain the attention of someone who has not had time yet to confirm/accepted the match with you on the app (or if you haven’t had time to confirm the match with them). Make sure your past relationship photos have been removed not to cause any confusion or questioning. Introduce yourself and what dating app you saw their profile and photo on. Tell them you would like to know more about them and this will show them you have solid interest in getting to know them better or meeting them.
A Thought to Keep in Mind If the Match Does Not Work Out
It is important to keep an open mind with the matches that just do not work out either to meet them, or go on a second date with. Remaining in touch by connecting on various social media is a good thing for keeping the door open in the future, if situations change, or just remaining friends. Being listed as a mutual friend or a follower can lead to other various relationships and cultivating other close friendships. If you are planning on deleting yourself from the app, send a message in sufficient time to offer other contact information (and if you are comfortable note your phone number) to stay in touch.
Don’t Ghost Anyone
Never ghost someone, always convey a mature message if you no longer have interest in getting to know someone or want to meet at the present time. Personal situations, relationships, preferences, and desires with people change all the time. A polite and mature parting of the ways can keep doors open in the future for both individuals.
Source of Information: Personal Experiences
Until Next Week, Stay Safe and Well!
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