This week I wanted to bring forward my personal experiences with meeting both men and women using various social media platforms. To date my experience has not been good. Sometimes I think both men and women my age pick up on that there is something off about me (having a disability) and they just want to move on and not take the time out to get to know me. Listed below are some of my negative experiences that possibly you or someone you know can relate to.
Women:
For several years now, I’ve been trying very hard to cultivate friendships with women my age to meet in real life (IRL) but haven’t had much success. What I look for is what town or high school they attended first, then I see what mutual friends, followers, or connections we have. After I send, accept a request, follow, or request to follow I usually react or respond to posts or photos that were recently added to their timeline. After several reactions, I try private messaging them and see if they live close by to where I live. Sometimes they do respond but usually, they get weirded out when I ask if they would like to meet for coffee, lunch, or go to the mall. Their reaction of me asking either ends up with them ignoring me for weeks, unfriending, unfollowing or being blocked. If and when they do respond, they say they are very busy with work or spend their free time with their boyfriends. Slowly these women go either weeks or sometimes months no longer reacting to anything I post and my private messages go unread. Just a few times, I did receive a reply stating they apologize for not getting back to me or wanting to meet me because they suffer from anxiety and/or depression and they are unable to meet me because they wouldn’t be able to handle it.
Men:
It has been a total disappointment and a horrifying experience trying to meet either men my age or a few years older than me (23 – 29 years old). Since I enjoy corresponding with individuals who not only live locally, in other states, England, Ireland, and other parts of Europe because of my interest in culture, history, a fascination of castles, the result is just the same, how some men, not all, behave. My personal experience is, most men base their interest to friend, follow, or connect with me based on my profile picture. A small percentage base their interest on my interests or recent posts (music, videos, photography, general funny memes, etc.). After the initial request to friend, follow, or connect with me is when the not so fun and nonsense begins.
1. If they want to come across being almost a gentleman they will react to my posts and a private messaging conversation will take place for a day or continue for a few days. This type of communication can also include flirtatious emojis giving the impression that they like me.
2. Sometimes I will be asked to send a recent photo or they remark on my current posted photos that they find me attractive (you’re pretty, you’re pretty cute, etc.).
3. It is not unusual to receive a photo of the man shirtless or with a towel wrapped around them hiding their private parts, followed by asking for a “pic” of me. Normally when this type of a photo request is made, it is for an inappropriate photo (nude or topless).
4. Several times I’ve received a private message between 1:00am and 4:00am stating Hey…wyd? (what you doing?). This type of message indicates they want to hookup (for sex).
5. I do not respond to these messages until the next day. After I explain I do not do hookups, they stop messaging me, unfriend, unfollow, or block me.
Individuals with Hidden Disabilities:
Corresponding with both men and women, I’ve realized that many people who use social media have various hidden disabilities and hide their challenges online while trying to become or remain social. Several men have admitted to me they are not strong readers and can’t spell very well because of their Dyslexia. Two men admitted to me they have Autism (Asperger's). Most women do admit to having bi-polar depression, and/or anxiety. Only two men so far online have apologized for not being able to meet me (IRL) because of anxiety. These men also cannot handle a video call or video chat via social media platforms. Once during a video chat with a social media friend, she told me she was bi-polar, suffered from social anxiety, and cannot handle meeting anyone in person. She stated she can only work in small offices and hardly interacts unless it is work related.
Closing Statement:
It is unfortunate that personal values and sincere interest in getting to know someone is gone because of the misuse of social media. My generation does not know how to meet, date, and get to know someone. My thought is, we have not experienced or have not been taught how to really get to know someone to build strong lasting friendships, relationships, enjoy and value the true meaning of intimacy with someone you care about and respect. I have never hooked up with anyone, and hookups to me are just cold with no meaningful connection. This is something I do not want any part of now or in the future. Although some people can do this or just feel if they don’t do it, they will be alone forever. Regarding myself, I would prefer being alone forever than having a cold and unmeaningful hookup that goes nowhere.
Source of Information: Personal Experience
Until Next Week, Stay Safe and Well!