By Kaylee McGrath
As everyone should know and understand, good quality relationships with partners and friends are important for our health, wellbeing, and happiness. These types of relationships can sometimes go overlooked, misunderstood, and not supported by parents, family members, and the community concerning individuals with learning or various other disabilities. Having such relationships can help protect us physically, emotionally, and can bring true meaning to our lives. Individuals with learning disabilities as much as everyone else deserve and need this opportunity of meaningful relationships either platonic and/or sexual.
Although, loving relationships are something that enriches many of our lives, ongoing research shows that only 3% of people with a learning disability live as a couple, compared to an estimated 70% of the general adult population. Lots of people with learning disabilities want to date and want to be in a meaningful relationship that involves intimacy and having sex. However, in many cases they need support to do so.
There are many reasons why people with learning disabilities have fewer sexual and romantic relationships.
These reasons can include:
• Needing support to access activities in their community to meet new people
• Feeling uncomfortable with the idea of displaying and sharing sexual behavior
• The fear and lack of the understanding to properly consent to sexual activity
• A lack of sex education that is limited and accessible for people with learning disabilities
• Needing more support from their caregivers and families to explore relationships, sex, and sexuality
Recently, there has been more support to individuals as well as their families, to form new guidance and training around relationships, sex, and sexuality. The guidance and training give practical information about what various staff members can and can't do, including information around mental capacity and consent, the law, and staying safe and healthy.
What are some of the common problems that adults with learning disabilities have with forming and maintaining friendships and romantic relationships (including marriage)?
• Many adults hide their learning disability from potential friends or romantic partners
• While this is understandable not to disclose the unique characteristics of a learning disability, usually it will find its way to the surface in any relationship
• At some point, it’s important to share with your significant other the fact that a learning disability has impacted and might continue to impact your life. In this conversation with your partner or friend, focus on what you have done to work around or overcome challenges in the past, and how likely that will be to continue in the future
• It is important to understand and make it understood, making the effort to manage a life with a learning disability is a sign of character and strength
• A good friend or a lover is more likely to accept you as their partner in this venture when they feel like they are pairing up with a person who lives by strength and determination. With sharing and knowing this has been very hard for you, but you will continue to manage and succeed
Closing Statement: Please feel free to read my past blogs on my dating experiences and progress with finding a loving and meaningful relationship. Do know, there is hope for everyone in finding friendships, love, and committed relationships. Just because someone has a learning disability does not mean they are less capable or less intelligent, we just learn differently, it takes us longer to learn, and to master a task… that is all! You should have no fear in becoming friends or a lover to someone with a learning disability because learning disabilities are not contagious and will not affect your intelligence. Being openminded and thinking out of the box is a perfect way to get to know someone or to date a very special person instead of ordinary.
Source of Information: Various Google Searches and Personal Experiences
Until Next Week, Stay Safe and Well!